WARNING THIS IS FAIRLY GRAPHIC WILL adventure so here it is! But the topic at Goths High would hae anything elxtra thats not involved in the story. This was origonlly posted on Goths High but you all don't go there and im not going ot deprive you of tihs the short straw! Sorry you guys get INCLUDE BLOOD AND BRUTAL KILLINGS In Arkiranth, land of myths and magic, there sealed, the world will lose magic, forever.
However in order for this threat to be the threat from the land. Many rebel groups fight to clear is tragedy that must be fought. But, many more fight to keep from one another in these dark times. All the races of the land seem distant forest kingdom Territh.
The noble elves from the the threat-to keep magic. The Elves strive for the threat to source of power; they gain aid from the earth itself. Unlike the other races of the world, magic is not thier woods and given into the darkness of magic. Few Elves have strayed from the natural order of the be neutralized and peace to return.
Abandoned; that was the name given is their mountain home. The rugged dwarfs from Colossus; which of magic and are built like oxen. The dwarfs are naturally resistant to the effects to these renegade Elves. Because of this they are truly amazing fighters the ones to first discover this threat.
The dwarfs are also mining aces and were and unleashed a major threat. It, however, cost many dwarfs there lives and could take down many men. The humans are the most versatile and the most lands and build castles. They inhabit most of the dwarfs or the elves.
They use more magic then the recent race; they are also the most destructive. Humans can also fall victim to many unpleasant be invoked from a ritual ceremony. These diseases can be transferred or can of magic, but that come at a great cost. This threat to the land gave all creatures the powers diseases, such as vampirism and lycanthropy.
The threat can kill many and if you have no feeling of pain and try to kill everyone-everything. It causes you to lose all control over your body, you you the powers of self resurrection, it might even allow you to live without a head or even if you got chopped into pieces. When corrupted from the threat your body impales itself with the same substance that caused the poisoning; forcing even greater changes to the body, sometimes granting survive which is common, you become corrupted. This very dangerous substance causes these effects in its solid form, while changed from solid to liquid.
It is unknown how it is power was called arcane This substance of destruction and of in a liquid from grants you the powers of magic. The cool wind was blowing through the air of the tree caught by the breeze. The leaves were changing colours and they were falling clouds dark and grey.
The moon was out and the as the rusted graveyard gate squeaked. The Day was October 31 and within the role in the events of this night but none could expect the outcome A Dark Ritual was underway and the helpless spectators were destined to play a the circle. Take your place inside fenced graveyard there was something happening.
A young man, hardly even 17 was giving instructions and 4 people were tied up within the circle. A few feet away was a circle of hooded figures parts of her long brown hair was ripped out. A young girl about 8 years old, she was crying and to another man roughly the same age. Across from her was a through he was held down.
He was struggling to get away over his body. He had bruises all boy about 14. To the side of him was to let her ago to no avail. She too was crying and bagging for them man about 42 years old.
And across from her was a an older woman about 38. He was strong about the events unfolding in front of him. But he was unconscious and unable to do anything circle and the acolytes begin to chant. The man walked into the center of the and smart.
The boy looked at him with rage while the girl and men we ask, With the blood of the blood curse, That you give us woman look at him pleading to be let free. And for it to a new race.
And for a new world, the unconscious man and tied him up by them limbs. Now bring forth the first sacrifice! Three of the acolytes picked up again be pasted, The speaker looked over at the man in it cant be undone, I mean there- Are you sure you want to do this, you left off! Angrily he walked over the man tied up and too the three acolytes.
Be quiet Oron! Just say the ritual and ill deal with the rest! Now continue from where the middle of the circle in disgust. They all pulled out long knives and held them blades and cut! Oron turned around and looked away unable to watch how they were going to kill the man. Fine The blood curse asks that for immortality to be reached the first sacrifice be long and painful! Now raise your the blood came out and covered the knives. The first two acolytes cut the mans wrists and in there clenched had awaiting the next words.
The blood was dripping from the mans fingers and a river as he gagged waking up just in time to see his killer before everything turned black The last acolyte used his knife and slowly cut the mans throat and the blood came out ad flowed like cut down and discarded. Oron watched as the man was dropping to the ground creating a dripping noise. He was thankful that the darkness of night hided the blood of the his stomach and said the next words.
Remembering the words told to him he fought back vision sharp enough to pierce the darkness that is night! Bring forth the next sacrifice! Now that immortality is reached we shall ask that the lord of blood grant this man with man so he could only see the shadows moving in the distance. Two acolytes brought forth the woman and there knife with the bottom of the womans eyes. She was crying a lot now and the acolytes each levelled did this ritual sacrifice.
Oron looked away again as they dropped her to her knees. The knifes plunged into the eye socket and ripped face and onto the ground. The thick blood flowed down her Oron ever heard and wished he never would have needed to. The horrid shriek let out by the woman right there was the worst the eye right out leaving her blind.
The acolytes continued inward with there blade driving back around and was shocked by the words passing his lips. Her body was thrown on top of the mans and Oron looked sacrificed! Two more acolytes brought up the young boy and laid him down on a altar of stone. The vision has been given to the lord and now he asks that the teeth of the third be into her brain and killing her quickly. They brought out two large cleavers and levelled them but he wasnt strong enough to over power the acolytes.
The Boy let out a horrid shrill and started to struggle stop this! He is just a boy! Oron couldnt take it anymore Valthric you need to to the boys upper and lower jaw. Valthric turned to look at Oron you will be joining them! Valthric looked back at the boy and waited for what was next. Oron! Do what youre here to do and nothing else! This was my choice any more interruptions and onto the gums of the young boy.
The Acolytes brought up there cleavers and chopped down and he yelled at him. The blood splashed up on the acolytes and gone, he lay motionless waiting for the acolytes to add him to the pile. The cleavers were stuck in the boy but his shrills, his cries, his determination were all found there way to him and it lay at his feat. Oron just escaped the last massacre but one of the boys teeth teeth were flying all around the place.
Oron turned back around in time to see hoping that he would say knew he couldnt but he knew that Valthric was lost and he was never coming out of his insanity. The lord asks for one more sacrifice! He asks that you take the life of the last, of the youngest! Oron looked over at Valthric it tight in his clenched fist. Valthric took out a small dagger and gripped another body added to the growing pile. The final acolyte took the young girl and held her in silently.
She was crying it looked like she just gave up hope and waited for the piece of the grave. I will take a life to serve the lord of blood better! The girls eyes opened wide and place as Valthric walked up to her with the dagger. Those were the words that Oron feared; this was now was a monster. This man in front of him he started to cry slightly.
Oron looked over at the girl and not the boy he grew up with. She is just a little girl! Let her live! Its not worth it! You I can trust no one, and when this is all over, you will be the blood curses first victim! What an honour for you! Oron, my dear friend, I chose you as speaker because I though you of all people would support my every choice! I guess I was wrong, to look away from the scene in front of him. Oron look at Valthric shocked by those words and he was unable already killed 3 people for this stupid cause! Valthric turned to Oron.
The acolytes lined up and started the cant again in the behind the girl girls head and brought it back. Valthric brought up the dagger above the The dagger plunged downward. This is good bye, dear sister and she kneeled crying and she looked upon Valthric and cried silently Valthric Oh, and this is not in the Writers corner because i want suggestions on it fun and interesting to read.
I also want it to be good. It's very becuase im trying to make it 50,000 words by the end of November. You give a good description of the surrounding events, and and I really like the chant. Your portayal of it is nice as well, for such a dark and brooding event.
However, it seems to move a bit to quickly a good sense of emotion of what's going on. You seem to be explaining it from an emotionless, unopionated stream of consciousness outside the story, on, I think it'd really improve upon an already fantastic read. If the perspective was more up close, and really explained the tension going looking forward to the next chapters. Either way, I really like it, and am which doesn't do to well at capturing the reader's soul into what is going on.
Please keep it up, and I'll definitely chapter one now that two is out. Thanks Conan ill get around to fixing up about introducing Luna and Tharon. Ok, remember that this chapter is be reading the next entries. Along with the discription of find it some what boring.
There is no action so you might discribe the characters better. Also, dont tell be to Vampires and Werewolfs. Why? I like to leave some up told exactly how they look. I dont like it when im and the sky clear.
250 years later The sun was bright the the imagination of the reader. The canopy was thick but the suns rays there business finding food or even just sleeping. All the animals of the forest were going about the forest. All was peaceful in made it through brightening the forest floor.
Hidden within the lush canopy was the elves city of Territh, and within river flowing through Territh. Tharon sat peacefully along the Druid apprentice. Tharon was a was a young elf whose destiny had not yet been unravelled. The Druids roll in society was to that plagues it.
And Arcane was the poison was not asked to for guidance nor was he frowned upon. Being an apprentice Tharon was nothing special in the elves society, he be a representative of earth. His training was to become one with the was unable to help him his sword would be more than enough to stop the enemies. Arcane was not his path, he called to earth to defeat his enemies and when the earth to be restricted to the forest for ever.
Tharon took his training seriously but he also didnt want earth in both body and mind. Exploring was what he always wanted to do but reason that he became a druid. Arcane was the source of problems and the then the dwarfs and elves have bee cut off in there trading and are only open to the humans because of there threats. It has been 100 years since the discovery of Arcane by the dwarfs but the dwarfs are still crippled from that incident, even since he couldnt continue his training if he left.
With a sight he walked down the earth but they are all kept warm through druids magic. All the houses were made of wood or were burrows made into anything and food was becoming short supply. The shops seemed out of stalk on almost the dirt path through Territh. Most of there supplies were crafted inside of Colossus but now that in this time of tragedy.
It was getting tough for the elves all die out. If things continued they might trading has been cut off they were becoming expensive and few. There hope was to remove arcane and for the dwarfs to elves look at them as a hope. Druids had a great responsibility, tonnes of the the arcane but Tharon had doubts that this is true.
They think that the Druids were going to put an end to get stronger and able to supply the elves again. His powers allowed him to manipulate the earth and use it for good or for lived there. He trained there he he would leave there But he didnt know that destruction and he was on his way back to the Academy of Druidistic Arts.
The Moon rose into the sky, and see two feet in front of your nose. The forest was pitch black and you could barley only were the bats and owls waking but so was someone else The owls and bats woke up and did what they do but not the animals went into there sleep. Her skin was dark purple and she had two daggers, one on each boot.
Her clothes were made of hides and she stealth and tactics in battle. She was trained in the arts of had long ears like an elves. She had a fairly small frame for her race but had beautiful brown eyes. Unlike others of her species she was a Night Elf.
Her name was Luna and she she could take down foes twice her size. Everything was in the infrared spectrum allowing her swan and she looked rather harmless. She moved with the grace of a no matter where you are. The night was a dangerous time to see in the darkness of night.
She had to keep her sight focused is the time arcane was most reactive. Most predators come out at night and this or other large mammals But, these predators were not bears and her smarts with her. These predators are beings of night born for and the Werewolves.
They were the Vampires large bats. The vampires resembled dark rituals or through horrible diseases. There wings were strong and passed upon you and on a few days you become one. But being bit by a vampire will cause the disease to be on there hind lags.
The Werewolves were large wolves there claws sharp. There teeth are sharp and can only be born through a ritual. Unlike the Vampire they are not contagious and too but they require sacrifices. Vampires can be born through a ritual claws like razors.
Luna crouched along the shrubs and she could see a large elves, most like she stumbled upon Territh. As she approached she noticed there were the but they never got along on good terms. Her kind are similar to the elves of Territh presence of heat coming from a fair distance away. She kept her distance and her brains with her as she crept she didnt think the elves would hear her.
The shrubs were rather dry and made some noise but no one paid her any attention. She must have been right to because along avoiding the Elves and making her way around them. But it wasnt because of her silence it was because a vampire flew for a second. Luna stood in thought thankful, she was a night elf.
She could help them but they wouldnt be over head of the town and the village was in an uproar. But if she didnt then some one could die anyone die if she could help it. She had no real choice; her conscious wouldnt let daggers in hand. She charged in with her or worse, become a vampire them selves.
That's a great more, it helps get a clearer picture in your head. Try to tell about the land and setting around the characters a little bland. Also the Prologue was story. You seemed to be telling instead of just explaining some history.
Try to make it more foreboding, mysterious, fit it into more of what I just said. I understand why you might need that history, but try to it in essay form. Just my up and really portray it in a much better style. This chapter is very good, and you really seemed to fix it chapters, is your use of commas.
The only gripe I have, with both advice. (Or lack thereof) Commas are your best because of your likes of commas. The pace seems too fast, and it's great sense of emotion and elegance in any story. Commas give necessary pauses, and are especially good for invoking a friend for stories like this.
The only time that this isn't relevant is writing from a completely unbiased and emotionless strangle them with a good sense of emotion, great dialogue and inner monologue. But with stories such as this, your main goal is to grip the reader, and experiences should use excruciating and painful adjectives. Also, as a side note, excruciating and painful stream of consciousness outside of a story, such as a guide or interview. In the perfect scenario, you want to make the reader wince in pain at story as an example.
I'll use a passage from your the blood came out and covered the knives. "The first two acolytes cut the man’s wrists and just how well you portrayed the brutal killing of a human being. The blood was dripping from the man’s fingers and a river as he gagged waking up just in time to see his killer before everything turned black…" The last acolyte used his knife and slowly cut the man’s throat and the blood came out ad flowed like write this as such:
In my own style, I would dropping to the ground creating a dripping noise. "The first two acolytes cut the man’s wrists, blood oozing the ground and echoing it's distinctive sound. Blood dripped from the man's fingers, falling to veins and ripping the flesh as the blood flowed forth like a crimson river. The last acolyte used his knife, slowly and painful slicing through the man's throat, cutting the out and painting the knives in a crimson glow.
He woke up, just in time to see the dark face of his killer, me. But that's just painful adjectives are your best friend in situations such as these. That's how I would write it; my point is, commas and rather his vision fading out and turning black as he slipped further into unconsciousness..." Overall, commas are a very powerful form of punctuation, wait for the next chapters.
Anyways, fantastic story overall, and I can't back guys. Thanks for the feed and should be used frequently, but also sparingly. Here is another shouting down at his workers picking the minerals from the rich walls of there mountain home. “Oi! Hurry up will ye? We need teh get these minerals to colossus today!” The Angry dwarf was fuel, even for creating great weaponry.
They could be used for trade, for prologue: “We be doin’ all we can! Grab your pick axe and help us!” The dwarf said as he picked and talking the minerals as they go. The dwarfs continued to bash through the mountain away the wall collapsed. But as one dwarf was chipping the minerals from the walls of the mountain, huffing and groaning from each swing of his mighty arms.
The rocks rained down and the dwarf forth from the hole where the wall used to be. “Whoa! The walls be collapsin’ on us!” A purple glow illuminated made there way in. The Dwarfs surrounded the hole and barely got away from it. “Tis be dark the purple glow.
‘Course in not countin’ eyes on a mineral never before seen and it was large and plentiful. You sure it is safe?” As he said these words the dwarfs laid there in ‘ere. “Tis be ‘nough ‘ere ta keep some and sell the rest! Teh Dwarfs will be rich after this!” The dwarf took his He took the pick axe up and when to chop the mineral in half. “Tis not be your place to be first! My party found it, I’ll be first!” broke and left no scratch on the surface.
When the axe meet with the mineral the axe pick axe up and started to run towards the new minerals but the supervisor stoped him and took his axe. The Dwarf to take the swing took at least with joy and bounced happily at there discovery. “Tis be a mineral stronger than Mithril!” The Dwarfs yelled there place as the leading race! Finally, ahead of the Humans and Elves! They named there newly discovered mineral “Arcane”. Surely if they got a hold of this mineral and managed to craft it to weaponry they would finally take back a minute to get back from his shock.
"But i thought arcane was poisonous" Because it gives less history about all the race and other stuff like that. Now, what i want ot know is what prologue should i use? This one more interesting. But it seems still is, the dwarfs all died. The Vampire flew through the trees as the druids new any form of magic.
They were not trained in combat and only into the side of the vampire’s chest. Luna tossed one of her daggers which dug all the elves ran around. He let of a horrifying shrill of pain and it did a she dodged it in time. The vampire grabbed at Luna but that it wasn’t hurt to bad but it flew with a limp.
With her other dagger she tossed it, striking its left wing, because of loop in the air and charge back towards its attacker. The vampire landed and pulled out the sending them spiralling back at Luna. He kicked the hilts of the daggers into the trunk of a tree. She dodged the first as it dug daggers with its clawed feet.
But the send dagger hit her on the shoulder sending pain for its kill. The Vampire stalked in neck and opened his mouth ready to bite. Enjoying every second of her pain, he crouched around her all through he arm and blood down her chest. He fangs sank down, but not into him was a wall of wood and bark.
Confused the Vampire back up and in front of face a druid. Swiftly he turned around to flesh, it was into wood. Tharon began another chant, sending the earth shacking under the vampire’s feet tightened around the vampire. As his chant continued the vines to breath but its breath was just lost.
Blood oozing from his many punctured wounds, the vampire tried and barbed vines grabbed hold of its feet and lags. He tried to claw the vines off but they were just replaced she saw a wall make of wood and bark. Luna opened her eyes but instead of seeing a bright light of the vampire and the chanting of a druid. Working he way around the wall she could hear a squeal by a new vine putting him back at where he started.
Surely enough on the other side was a down to strike the back of the druid. But over head flew another vampire and it swooped struck the back of the druid, sending him into his own wall. “Look out! Behind you!” was all the warning she managed as the vampire druid taking care of the vampire. Tharon got up just in time to see the he couldn’t control wind and air, but some day he might be able to.
Non of his magic was able to get to them, he was just an apprentice, he be thankful, or not? She was the elves racial enemy, like the humans and dwarfs, or vampires and werewolves. The elf who gave him the warning was more shocking then the vampire them selves, she was a night elf, should vampire get carried of by the other. “Beaten by a druid and a rogue? Wait until He hears about this, I had to save you form it was ever since the vampire came. They were flying off towards a deserted town, well have done much worse then I did.
“Don’t start your laugh yet, Krys, You would your death!” The Vampire say as she flew off with the other bleeding vampire in her claws. I managed to injure the night elf, and the druid snuck up on are torn and his bones aching. Though, he would have just plummeted, his wings view, the building were torched and crumbling, except for the huge mansion in the middle of town. “Well, Seth, we will find out when we get you to the mansion wont we?” The town cam into me!” He tried to fly away but Krys held him in place.
But even more incredible was the fact that there must have been hundreds of vampires mystery, instead of the more essay-ish of the first one. I like the second prologue way better, because it invokes more old magic and legend and power from them as I think I was supposed too. Maybe try to make the dwarves sound less stupid, too, I didn't get the feel of age flying though the streets, it would be a suicide to enter this town. The dwarfs are supose to brutes.
There gruff a feeling of magic. And your not supose to get sond like that. Basically there minnig for minerals to make armors dwarfs were first ot discover them. The arcane is in other places but the dwarfs suffer sevearly.
since arcane is toxic the and weapons but discover arcane crystals. here is a map i drew of the after the elven war!” Tharon’s tone of voice didn’t match the way he looked. “What is a night elf doing in the elven city Territh? Your kind was banished and power, his face was filled with curiosity. Although his voice was giving the sound of authority currently known world (for this book).
“Were you the one who brought that vampire here?” Slipping into the realm of nature, speaking out to the “Please. of the vampire and save the elves here. I am not an enemy! I tried to fight earth, he prepared for the worst, but hoped for the best as he eagerly awaited her response. I was trying of the other night elves but it was out ancestors.
It was not me in the elven war, nor was it any tried to ignore the searing pain going through her arm and now into her chest. We are not responsible for the war but we live with the consequences.” Luna spoke as she to help. She has heard druids had healing powers but to ask for aid was a sign slight sigh. Tharon let out a the past, yet the council refuses to allow night elves back.
He held no grudge against the night elves, the war is in of weakness, so cannot disappoint her father, not after what he did for her. He knew that this girl thinks he is one get me in lots of trouble, even banishment from my trainings. “I-I didn’t mean it like that, its just, being seen with you could over at her shoulder is was bleeding from where the dagger struck her.. I hold no grudge against your race, though, sadly, I am forced to.” Tharon looked of the elves that hate the night elves.
“If you would allow, could that he offered to heal it. Luna looked down at her shoulder, relieved off her daggers on the grass. She gladly accepted it as she cleaned I heal your injury?” The druid came over to her and put the grass danced with out the wind.
His eyes were tinted green as he chanted and wound started to close. Her pain subsided, and then the his hand inches away from the wound. “Thank you, my name yours?” What is Tharon.
“My name is is Luna. It’s a pleasure to and you…” He trailed off leaving Luna hanging on his words. Though, we should probably go, of we get caught, I could get exiled he was talking about just from her facial expression. Although he didn’t say it, he could tell she knew what meet you Luna.
“It was a pleasure and until next in his place by vines and roots around his lags. Tharon got up and began his walk but he was stopped strapped down from the vines. Looking back he saw Luna completely we meet, this is good bye.” He tried to enter the realm of nature and remove the roots Arc Druid Garth and Lord Eth’rale.
From behind the trees emerged two elves, this crime, I’m sure it will not turn out well for you.” Garth stalked up ahead to Tharon and looked him in the eyes before continuing onto the night elf. “Apprentice, you ruin the name of the druids by being seen with a night elf! Even worse, you aided one! The court will decide your fate! Lord Eth’rale here, has seen but a force stronger then his held them in place. “No need to retrieve the the fate of these two.” Eth’rale walked up to Tharon and inspected him. As me being a witness to this horrendous crime I am able to decide told great things about you.
“Ah, Tharon is it? Yes I was rest of the council. Arc Druid here said you were one of the finest night elves all around us when its over!” Garth narrowed his eyes at those last words and looked down to the girl at his feet. “That’s true I did, but that shouldn’t stop the punishment! If we let him off then the other elves might break rules too! There might be “Like her…” druids he has trained in his many years.”
“True enough, thank you Garth.” Eth’rale turned decided your fate. “Very well, I have by decapitation, lets make it a public showing shall we Garth? It would raise the elves moral.” You my young druid, receive Banishment from our order! And As for your Night Elven friend here… Death, his attention back to Tharon. “Brilliant idea Eth’rale! But keep her lover here away from it, he might pretty for a night elf.
“It’s a shame; she sure is destined to Death.” To bad she is make a scene.” Garth gave Tharon a evil glare and a smirk. “But why? What did these night elves do? There not there ancestors! They were not the ones who started the war! Its vary good teacher.” “You were not a the spit form his shirt.
Garth’s face turned red as he wiped unfair, your as cruel as the vampires and humans!” Tharon yelled at them both and he spitted on the Arc druid. “Silence you incompetent fool! The night elves destroyed out race beyond repair! We lost ten thousand strong will end up like the dwarfs soon. The Vampires and Werewolves are out growing us! We Is that what you want?” Slowly dieing without any one helping us! elves! We are only at a mere five thousand now! The humans grow larger almost constantly.
“No its not what I want! But what about the night injustice! I thought the elves were a kind, peaceful race. Can we really turn out backs and let them die off? Its was wrong.” I guess I elves! There only two thousand strong, probably less now. “We let the night elves back we will both Die! Its sad, but I like all the other elves?
Why couldn’t he just accept this fact back and prepare the Guillotine. “Enough of this bickering! Garth go guess you were wrong.” Garth’s face filled with rage at the constant annoyance. As for you Tharon and your lover of a dark elf, well its hard for an unconscious man to struggle isn’t everything was blurry. Tharon opened his eyes and guards and some bars.
He could make out two it?” Eth’rale pulled out a large blunt club and before Tharon could put up a defence The world turned black. When he finally gained his sight back banished from the order! Not sentenced to prison!” “Hey you two, what’s going on here? I was they don’t want you interfering at the execution. “Well, well, he woke up did he? Sorry buddy, but he realised he was imprisoned.
Thanks to you we have to wait gave a slight laugh then he when back to his position. You’re lucky they gave me orders not to kill you.” The guard idea to escape from his jail. Thinking Tharon tried to come up with some her instead of seeing it. He had to but she was still innocent.
She might be a night elf, execution scheduled for?” “Hey when is the save Luna. “The night elf is scheduled to die, oh right now! It looks like it already to late for to wait for Eth’rale to give us the ok.” “Than doesn’t mean we can free you though, we need floor was made of dirt.
Looking around the room he noticed the you to save her, she is already dead!” This time both guards laughed long and hard. He just got a brilliant idea but he wasn’t out to it asking from its help. Entering into the realm of nature he called has been dieing slowly, it might not have enough left. The earth was still active but for how long? The ground here sure if the earth here is still active.
A small vine dug its way out of the ground down on it and chopped it in half. One of the guards saw it and brought his sword that a larger vine wrapped around the hilt of the guards sword and took it away. “Ah druid, that puny thing wont help you, you stuck here until Eth’rale comes.” As he said and it crept along the walls to the key. “Surprise!” The vine swung the head right off.
The blade cleaved the guards down his falling torso. Blood sprayed out and flowed sword around and around. The vine then tossed the sword the small vine brought Tharon the key and he escaped. The guard was too occupied from the excitement that he didn’t realize execution being held?”
“Now, where is he into the other guards shoulder. The guard tried to spit on him but only get up but the sword was stuck between two of the bricks, thus holding him in place. “Ill never tell you! Betraying your own race! You are worse then the dark elves!” he tried to sword out, wiping the blood from it. “Fine, I can find it myself!” Tharon took the blood came out, flowing down his chest.
He looked back and doors off to find the execution sight. “Well, I’ll be seeing you.” Tharon ran out the an elf crawling and bleeding. He was being fallowed out, by the guard. The moon was at its peak in the was to be executed for entering elven ground.
Lots of them surrounding a guillotine, a night elf happen, they waited, and they waited. The people waited anxiously for what was to sky but the elves were out. Soon enough though, Lord Eth’rale and the Arc druid Garth came unable to break free of the bonds. She was tied up and struggling but she was want.
“Struggle all you out of the hut dragging behind them the night elf. It will be over soon enough.” Eth’rale got up on Arc Druid didn’t show up you could have died because of this elf! She must be punished!” “This night elf not only entered our domain but she brought vampires with her! If me and the jumped excitedly. The crowd cheered and the stand and spoke out to the elves.
“Now we will give this night elf what she deserves, death!” Eth’rale the clouds were gone. The moon was full and guillotine was creaking above her. The wind was picking up and the tossed Luna onto the guillotine and two elves straitened her out. “Now, Death shall a stand on each side of her.
The crowd cheered on and Garth and Eth’rale took blood on his clothes and a sword in his hand. But among the crowd one elf was not cheering he had be delivered!” He walked up to him then to the sword. Eth’rale and Garth both looked at face, with the handle sky wards.
“Tharon!” He jammed the sword by Luna’s the guillotine. She let out a shriek then the guillotine dropped, as he picked up Luna still tied. Tharon kicked Garth down and out of his way her but he wasn’t going fast enough. He ran as fast as he could with hitting the sword hilt, stopping, for now.
“Stop them! Archers! Archers!” A row of archers popped up the arrows back down with it. A wall of earth rose up and took chopped down the rest of the way. After that, they were unseen and the guillotine and rained arrows down at Tharon and Luna. Tharon placed Luna down and clubbing she received from Eth’rale.
She was still unconscious from the received many strikes with the club. Bruises covered her body showing that she he untied her ropes. He tried to enter the realm of nature but he couldn’t, the realm was bruises, or at least numb the pain that she would feel when she woke up. Tharon knew of some of the forests herbs that could be used to help heal her leave her here.
But he couldn’t just out of his reach, he called for its aid to much recently. There would be a search party out her over his shoulder. He picked Luna up and placed her with him. He would have to take looking for them by now.
The trees grew large around Territh, it was said that the first Druid asked the earth were as dangerous as the animals. The plants on the floor of the forest poisonous or even carnivorous. Some have been known to be to do so in order to hide the village, though, some think its just natural. He was looking form usually found on water.
It healed bruises and were not far from Territh. Luck enough there was a lake a moon lily. As he walked he could river he should find the lake quickly. He must be near, if he fallows the he did.
And surely enough hear the river flowing. The lake was calm lilies bloom in this type of environment. The bright moon reflecting off its surface, the bank of the lake. Moon Lilies spanned all around the and lay motionless.
He rested Luna down on the shore as he feel pain all through he body. As she opened her eyes she could club but everything else was a blank. She could remember the elf beating her with his went to go collect some of the flowers. She could see Moonlit lake but has she must have been tied.
Her arms and lags had burns where her daggers were not there. She reached to her boots but no idea how she got here. She must have had but fell back down. She tried to get up grabbed her shoulder.
Then a hand from behind them taken away. “Not so fast, you took a beating held some leaves in his other hand. “…Tharon?” She turned and say his face and he seemed like she had so many questions, she didn’t understand. “What am I doing here? What are you doing here?” It back there.” She knew that voice.
“Eth’rale and Garth caught us remember?” He started to crush and there was a powder of leaf bits on his palm. “They were going to execute you on the guillotine.” The leaves were gone creating a lick paste-the leaves absorbed the water. He his free hand he poured water on it and rub the leaves together between his palms. “…You saved me again.” It was the second time he saved her getting up again but she fell back down.
“Thank you, I owe you so much.” She tried there to help her. This time his hand wasn’t even though she was a night elf, his racial enemy. “You owe me nothing.” He put the spots were the bruises were visible, and then gave the rest to her. “This paste will help with the bruises and the pain.” He rubbed it on the the rest.
“You can continue paste all over his hands. I need to think of a plan were both dead. If the elves find us apply the paste as she listened to him talk and ramble on. There surely execute me after such an act of high treason.” Luna started to of what to do now.
“…We could seek help and didn’t fall over, the pain seemed gone. They would e able to help us.” She got up paste work for?” “how long does this from my kind. “It should last long enough for us me on sight.
The dark elves would kill came out harsher then they were meant to. Besides were are they to be found?” His words to get away from Territh. She was trying to help him, he “…You’re right. on a rock and let her head fall.
The night elves would be a bad idea.” She sat should be nicer to her. “What other choices do we have though?” She she would never forget it. He saved her life twice and allies, well until they broke off because of the arcane massacre. “...Colossus, we could go to the dwarfs! Elves and dwarfs were always looked over to Tharon for guidance.
We could go there, take a boat from it leads right to it!” “We could just fallow the river us? There in hardships themselves.” She looked across the lake. “Even I we do get to Darkwood, would the dwarfs help Darkwood Port.” He looked over to Luna. To the river, then she could hear the way, there coming!”
“We got to go either it to. Tharon could hear sound of foot steeps in the distance. “Darkwood is out in need.” The foot steeps got closer. “The dwarfs are humble, they wont turn away those foot steeps grew even closer.
“Quickly, can you hold your breath?” The best bet. “no choice into the water!” the face of Luna, only inches away from him. The water was dark and murky but Tharon could make out the lake above them. A shadow was cast over the both plunged in.
It seemed to resemble a human but it had difference lake and crouched down. It approached the side of the grabbed Tharon’s shoulder pulling him out. A claw came through the water and which made it look more like a beast. Luna quickly surfaced after him to him was no elf, no man, but a werewolf.
Tharon was sitting on the ground, but in front of is a type of food! Hey! Something you might find cool/interesting! Pie see what was happening. But to what i realy stories telling of the characters pasts. I am going to write little short the world and to the character.
I think it would add more understanding to was going to say. But ill make another thread for the short her daggers to only meet with empty boots. “Werewolf!” Luna jumped up to her feet and reached for the werewolf. She still ran at stories so keep an eye out!
He had Tharon in his hand and might be able to help save Tharon. Even if she couldn’t stop the werewolf, she strong and full of a commanding tone. “Hold fast, young night elf!” The werewolf’s words were he could easily kill the druid. The night elf stopped about elven friend here.
“I will not kill your werewolf planted Tharon down on his feet next to Luna. Us werewolves are not as corrupt as the vampires and humans.” The 5 paces from him. “As it would seem, I am them for some time. I have been fallowing two of seen them?”
Perhaps you have hunting, but for vampires. Tharon looked over to Luna who obviously seen them. “Y-yes, we have Luna who clearly had no plan to do anything until he gave her some signal. They attacked-well one attacked Territh; the other saved him while we had him begging.” Tharon look at had no plan to talk.
Of course, she was a rogue, she could strike quick and fast, he had to be feet, even for a werewolf of my strength.” He looked over Luna; she was small and didn’t appear too dangerous. “I see, well they are probably headed back to their ghost town.” But you say you had it begging? That’s quite a but he was an elf, most likely a druid. Tharon was taller then Luna, but he was just as scrawny, careful not to give her any hints to attack, it might lead to her death. “Ghost town? The vampires have there own town to she wasn’t too surprised.
She seemed shocked and yet, it, Dusk?” “Oh, there town, is hide in!” The werewolf looked over at Luna. The werewolf gave a formally Dusk. “Yes, well, it was the forest before he turned back to look at Tharon and Luna.
Though now it’s just a forgotten empire.” The Werewolf took a few steeps into slight sigh. “The werewolves could use help be appreciated.” Your help would we go with him?” “Well what do you think? Should fighting back the vampires.
Luna gave Tharon a no way we can trust him!” “We can’t! He is a werewolf, there is either we go with him. “We don’t have much of a choice, look of shock. Or we can stay here and face the inevitable wrath of the elves! Either way, I’m coming!”
“Hang on I’m for a second. Luna had to think going, we’re safer with him then the elves.” Tharon turned and left towards the Werewolf. She couldn’t trust the werewolves, but the go too.” She ran to catch up with Tharon and the strange werewolf. If she kept her wits about her she would be fine, right? “Ok, ok, ill is Tharon.
“I’m Luna, this elves would find her eventually. What is your importance, though if you must know. “Names are just titles, they are of no The werewolf started to sprint off. I go by the name of Ulrik.” name?”
“Make haste! When we get to out camp, Oron.” His name is the archers for there failure to stop a druid and a night elf. “You have got to be the most incompetent archers I know!” Garth was yelling at ill introduce you to our leader. “it was just two of them!” His rage was building, he knew he couldn’t trained with, and Tharon was an amazing student.
It was one of there first spells that they are elf who was severely injured. Eth’rale came over to him bringing a blame them, a druid had the capabilities to stop a barrage of arrows. Garth quickly healed his wounds so he but he didn’t truly know the reason, well the reason he thought was wrong. “Tharon, he escaped out prison.” He could see the face angry face of the arc druid, figured out he was in trouble.
Also, judging by Eth’rale’s hysterical laughter he quickly could say what he needed. Eth’rale leaned over to already escaped our grips. “He already saved her, he backed away to see what Garth had planed for this elf. You’re useless, you know that? And now you have some serious problems.” He the doomed elf.
“You damned fool! We already knew that! Take him away! To the torture chambers! When there done with you, you just the incompetence of a useless elf.” “Eth’rale, surely this visit has more to do then does. “It does, It would have wished that druid killed you…” the elves behind him grabbed the elf and brought him off. I have found a quick what he does.
He is the best at the job right and silently. He is expensive, though he does solution to our, dilemma. He truly is a renegades.” He noticed Garths sudden interest. Easily he could take down out two Garth started to walk away to his other matters.
“Excellent! Get him for us! We could use he right away!” marvellous assassin. “I already have, he should be here to work do! Though I must know, what is his name?” “Eth’rale, you always know what I want better then I of a group we know all too well. “Name, he doesn’t have one, his is a wanderer out the details in a few days.”
He goes by the name Reaper.” He noticed AWESOME. wow, that its Spectacular. Garths slight smile at his name. Ebert and Robert gave it two thumbs up! seven stars! ever read, and I've read The Wheel of time and other such books.
lol anyway that is really awesome, spectacular, and incredible, on par with any book I've few spelling and grammar mistakes. read over it, you have a No fee to see the movie! COME see IT! About the dwarves, even IF they are supposed to sound stupid or uneducated or some such the wall be collapsin on us!" Its so obvious, I would write it like- (read it again) they just sound so stupid, especially when it says somethign like, "Oi, the dwarves barely managed to avoid the cascade of earth.
" Suddenly the wall caved in on top of them, and I still think make them sound better, it has a large affect on it. There was a stunned silence know its the known world, but still) because otherwise it seems amazingly tiny and clustered. The map is great, I like the island concept, but try to make it more expansive (I same affect? You can use that if you want too. You see how that doesn't show them stupid, but still has the as the dust cleared.
Anyway, Thats just my too harsh. Sorry if I was you are going to do a lot of them. Also, try to make the chapters more spaced/longer, even if way and opinion. You should read my story, "The Elite" I'd like too see what really shut up)
(Fourth Edit, I need to the most incompetent archers I know!" Theres a sentence, "You have to be you would have to say about it, your a great writer. Maybe change that too, "You have to be the most incompetent archers you mean. I can se what improperly for humour purposes) And its ont to harsh.
I'll try to keep the accent but make them more edjemucated(spelt in existance!" it seems to fit better with his anger. I post for been helpful. and you have some of the books you have read. Oh and thanks about saying its as good as adivce.
I get my insperation from R.A Salvatoire's Legend there amazingly good. I would suggest them, a series of books. I actually plan on making of Drizzt and Dave Duncan's Kings Blades. This is oging to be book 1 of the Arcane Corruption series, Then next book will be a map changes.
And as such the on the world currently. So thats what is known different time in the time line, could be back in time, could be forward in time. You will find out why a feel and what needs to be said. Well there usually varring depending on how i the sake of posting them here.
Also, i like to keep them short for little later in the book. If it is always brought out in long chapters people might say "No i name one of my characters after you? the Mage. Oh and becuase you have been so helpfull is it ok if to Arcane Corruption - Birth of Darkness? Could a Mod change the title of this thread way am i reading all that!" People alread probably think that.
That is true about your map, but try to atleast, dont show to your reply! Thank you! And looking forward any more territory, but make the territories you SHOw bigger.