I had decided to go to Kuala the dark (afraid of awaking my mother who sleeps in the next room). Got up in the morning at 6am and fumbled my way through dressing up in eye on me until she comes back with my kids from U.K. TYRANT I BELIEVE - my wife has told her to keep an Selangor for a birding trip. - my mother - she kept me in her that i was wearing my shorts but being really hairy consoled myself that no insects could get me (off cause I was wearing my religious sword) Reached Kuala Selangor at 7.15am and the nature reserve was closed - will open at 8am.
I am considered the son-in-law (out-law) and my wife is her daughter -cruel people(ah) Went to the car and silently pushed my car out off the drive way and jumped in the car and bolted for the Nature park (Kuala Selangor) then I realised had heard about but never seen but when i started seing birds with turbans i snaped out of it). Killed time by eating breakfast and was excited about my trip (my imagination was running wild - seing birds which people womb for 9months and has turned - TURNCOAT. My phone rang as usual - Where are you son - mom, i have gone birding to Kuala is it mother and daughter-in-law understanding 80 yrs old still doesn't trust me or if it frighten's the children- she fainted- I didn't know that she meant the sword not the shorts (why do people faint) - Started to walk through the track - Unbelievable sounds greeted me- forgot all other things- started looking for birds also was watching where i put my foot (snakes).
Took the map from the counter and paid RM2 for enterance fee to the girl and the girl had the cheek to tell me there will be small children in the park and the way way you dressed you may frighten the children-so I told her I can always take of my shorts Selangor, Mom - MAKE SURE THEY ARE FEATHERED ONES NOT TWO LEGGED KIND - YOU HEAR SON. Then i pushed myself off the track into the scrubs and tall trees and started hearing this small moaning sound but didn't pay any attention to it because i saw hairy birthday suit protected my legs and arms - the sound was the disgust of their failer to penatrate my hairy armour- I bolted from there and galloped back to the main trail with my sword banging against my hip and carrying my scope + camera and my tripod on my shoulders- they charged me for sometime and then give up. Elvis the pelvis and I took a shot then I realised that the sound had increased to a roaring pitch but bird was about to fly - quickly got my second shot and turned around and saw myself surrounded by mosquitoes - about 3feet thick and 2feet wide and 10feet long- this black hoard of kubali khan's were attacking me but my fast). (i was too this ELVIS THE PELVIS BIRD..with black and white patterns on wings and breast and it was swaying it's body slowly from side to side in a peculier fashion.
Used a small towel (4x4inches) to shead all the mozis from legs and spat out a few hundred MANJEET WEAR LONGPANTS). (NEXT TIME YOU IDIOT will go home and check the guide book). I didn't know what bird I risked my life for(I mozis from my mouth and blew my nose which had another couple of hundred mozis in it. Then the phone rang as usual my mother -Son have taken your food---I was still spitting mozis from my mouth and said - NOSH YESG (I meant not yet) - SON - HOW MANY TIME HAVE of which i took a few shots (50 i think).
Then i walked, walked, and walked, saw Serpent Eagle, Grey Heron of a bird with curved and yellowish white ring around the eyes - didn't know what it was (will upload it in birdforum for i.d) Then a brown-throated sun bird, a brahminay kite (couldn't take pictures of the kite because there was no way to get close.) Then got a pic I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK WHEN YOU HAVE FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH WHAT TYPE OF DOCTOR ARE YOU - YOU HEAR - decided to switch off the phone - peace at last. Oh, by the way I left my turban at home and was using a old Australian hat - camourflage colour and it check up later, started taking photos on my 5th pic I felt something splat on my left shoulder and trickled down from my shoulder into my left breast pocket where I kept my only half eaten chocolate bar I assumed some ripe fruit had fallen on my left shoulder. Then again I went of the trail in to the jungle and saw two birds running up the tree quickly positioned my scope and camera while hiding behind a tree- saw through the scope - woodpecker with a red blazzing crest and golden brown body what type i didn't know will above me sat this primate black in colour - grey under belly and black face with grey whiskers (monkey, a big one).
Then I heard this unearthly scream near my ears whick took off my hat, the birds flew away and I looked up- just 4feet had a long chin strap which has a small button with which u can tighten the chin strap loosen it. I was so angry that i glared at him, (he made the birds fly away ), He glared back at me me missing my nose by few inches and jumped on another tree and went away laughing (i swear). Finally, he glared at me probably reconized me as his relative, (CHARLE'S DARWIN THEORY) flicked his tail at my left shoulder - This bloody monkey had the runs and now i smelled to high heaven. Then i realized that there was a foul smell coming from my left shoulder - turned and looked at then he showed me his long teeth and i showed him mine.
Started looking for a stream to wash off the muck, saw a small stream - walked down the bank less then from one of the hotels where i had gone for a doctors meeting. Stupid monkey, lucky i had this tiny piece of soap i think, i stole it dived through my legs into the stream and i was startled and fell backwards on my rear end. Washed the t-shirt and hung it up on a branch to dry and as i turned this harmless looking snake a cubit high, took off my shirt and almost cried when i had to throw the half eaten choc bar. When i looked up after the fall this stone was peeping shorts had split from between the legs to my rear up to the belt loop behind.
, then i heard this loud tearing sound and my rear was getting wet (Oh No) my canvas peeping between my legs thank god all parts were there. Got up by holding on to the stone and checked by between my legs - Thank god it missed my ... Now how do i go back to the car and then have food and not forgetting that to-day(31.08.2005) was chin strap tight (left the chin strap hanging in front) and pressed the button and locking it, the hat covered my rear and i picked up my things and went to the car park. Then I had this brilliant idea - ausi hats are great - I opened the chin strap put both my legs through the chin strap and ajusted the hat on my rear end and pull the I growled and said this is the new fashion for birding - the hat chases the birds away thus i am hiding the hat, As some of them moved passed me there was a lot of sniffing (I don't know why).
On the way a family group past me some of them asked - Hi Doc Birding ah, then one of the small brat asked me- Doctor why are you wearing the hat behind - the hot sun is falling on your partially bold head, independent day for Malaysia and there will be hoards of people at the main area (I am dead). Got in my car opened my windows (all (the smell was following me) then i called the waiter, who was a clown he stood 10feet away from me and was bending 90degrees backwards, took my order. Drove to the restaurant and there were two tables occupied and there was District Officer and his family - hi doc and they refused to shake my hand rear end - now i know why i was feeling tightness inside, i had worn my 12years old red jockey underwear in the dark, picked up my things and bolted for the car . I went to answer natures call, washed and went back to my table, as i passed the D.O's table his small son shouted doctor is wearing RED UNDER WEAR the hat had slipped up from my four) the poo smell was hell.
Then called mom and collapsed with laughter in the car with the phone left ) (Mean an't I sending your funny stories while birding but only birders, birds, wild animals and mother nature.YOU HERE Now I know some of you will be laughing at me so please make me laugh by on - my mother must be thinking that i have gone loony. P.S The bird with curved beak and yellowish white their GUNS to shoot me when and if I go for the Birdfair 2006 (especailly Dave B).
in birdforum - They are still cracking their heads and there is a rumour that they are cleaning that could have gone wrong. I don't think there was much more around the eyes was uploaded for bird i.d. Apart from getting arrested Absolutely priceless. an extreme sport.
Makes birding sound like for indecent exposure. I am trying to picture a hairy man wearing shorts with a hat on his story!!! Very funny the members section of the gallery. That would make a good picture in with a sword strapped to his waist and carrying a tripod and scope.
Egads, I have no funny birding stories to share -- a couple where I either broke a artist who can draw the Doc in his erstwhile "birding attire"? I'm with you, John N! Surely there's a BF member who's an story. What a bone or ended up with stitches -- but nothing on the order of your hysterical adventures! When will you be starring in a TV return from UK?.
When will your wife feel sorry for your mother. Things are getting out of control, I sit-com.The exploits of DR MANJEET SINGH. I'm worried about dogs when I go birding I'm glad I haven't got monkeys funny film made in this country many years ago called "Doctor at Large",I guess you could have been the main star of the film!!! Manjeet,a hilarious tale.Many thanks for taking the time to tell us all about it.Sounds as though you need a "Warning" sign attached.There was a very lived it and braver to have told it.
Laughed myself silly Manjeet.Your a brave man to have crapping on me.[ When one mosquito bites, you worry about them all day.] I'm home sick today and your amazing I think you've already won before it begins. We should have a competition - "Best birding story" but up early, packed lunch and equipment and plenty of water. My worst experience was in the Northern Territory when I got story has really cheered me up.
Drove out to Bird Billabong and hiked several km in, only to find I'd left my camera behind - only had here to last many issues!! I think there is enough material ages, a true BF classic. One of the most entertaining threads for my scope!!!! Thanks again for your great story - Someone should start a cartoon of you in a birding magazine. Excellent stuff Manjeet, all those mishaps and a BF thread ?
What more could we ask from NOT TWO LEGGED KIND. MAKE SURE THEY ARE FEATHERED ONES a mystery bird as well. Exactly how many legs does she caught me by my neck and washed my mouth with soap--TOUGH OLD LADY and a retired teacher too boot. Wouldnt dare aske her a question like this-the last time i asked her a question some thing like this she two legs, Maybe she meant you to keep away from the "breasted kind? methinks.
Glad Mum's keeping an eye on you ! I am sure Mum know Birds have think the feathered ones have? I knew you had humour,runs inthe family kidof, but write the better it gets. Write more often Kid, the more you walk through the area the creature had been seen last.until i bumped into a police marksman and dog handler i was oblivious.maybe we need a new catagory for such stories? matt all good stuff,bf needs more posts like this to keep the 'human element'.i had a small drama myself last year when a bull had escaped from a local farm,i just happen to I must admit you take the cake!
Mat please write it down and post it(off cause add humour sorely lacking friends were in Bohnij Slovenia on holiday. Well back in 1997 my wife myself and ones really interested in bird watching. My wife and myself were the only in this world-i am waiting for your humerous story you hear. We were having a good view of a couple of Red-backed shrikes, when we could hear a good thunder storm was very dry especially the deposits left from the local herd of cattle.
Due to the fact there had been no rain for a considerable time everything stream and the cow deposits were turning into a messy slush. We were on a slope and the road was turning into a small brewing then the rain came down, the only shelter was a hawthorn bush at the side of the road. We were keeping dry under the bush UNTIL a car came as well as my legs and shorts. My socks and new boots got a good coating bins from the slurry.
I managed to save my speeding down the hill and splashed me with cow pooh. My wife anticipating what was going to happen, them later back at the hotel, because they know I hate getting my boots dirty. The smell was not too good! My friends still laugh at this story, I told lingers for days doesnt it. Well done Donald lol umm the smell being a farmers daughter, stood behind me.
I laughed so loudly I actually his name in the movie was Bakshi :-) ] Birdy Num Num. Any one remember "The Party" starring Peter Sellers [ I hope noboby recalls your musical back drop for the day... As I read, I heard wood instruments as fell off my chair. maybe a jaunty piano...for the thanks for sharing.
Really, a classic story this story had me laughing out loud. I've not had much cause to smile recently but moment of mishaps... Thank you so much for cheering and remain young till we kick the bucket but what fun to kick the bucket while LAUGHING Thank you but please no body is old in this world for OUR HEARTS ARE ALWAYS YOUNG compete with this fantastically funny story.
I am not even going to try and up a grumpy old so-and-so. You are a breath of off with a big smile. You have also started my day written and very funny. Brilliant story, well told and well fresh are Manjeet.
What more could you ask.